Here’s something else I wrote years ago….

Please note that I don’t actually know anything
about physics or quantum physics or anything else
for that matter. At the time I was a security guard
who had just read a book about quantum physics. This
is my own theory and probably has no scientific basis.

If you remember from science class, light has properties
of both a wave and a particle. Physicists still haven’t
figured out why. This is my guess.

95f the terms used below are more than likely being used improperly.

—————-

Goal: A proposed alternative to the wave-partical
duality theory.

Background:

The world around us is made up of systems. On a
cosmic scale we have the tetonic system, atmosphere,
moons, and the solar system. Biologically we have
atoms that make up cells, organs and organisms.
Atomically we have protons, nuclei and atoms. There
is no reason not to assume that these systems extend
in both smaller and larger scales. The establishment
of any particular system of scale (ie organisms) is
due to the interconnectedness and interdependance of
the next smallest system. (ie organs)

Problems often arise when trying to describe patterns
in one scale with terminology and understanding of
another scale. While this can often help in the long
run, the problems arise when one is forced to use a
familiar word for an unfamiliar concept. The wave
versus particle debate of light is an example.
Current physicists consider photons to be both a wave
and a particle. Physicists continue to insist that
common sense is wrong.

Rather than photons exhibiting wave characteristics
AND particle characteristics. I propose that the term
photon is more or less describing the interaction of
sub-photons (quarks) as they behave while travelling
between two points. While measuring wave properties
of photons, what experimenters are really observing
are the paths of multiple quarks, like jet streams in
the sky. The average trajectory of these quarks is
described as the frequency of the wave. Quarks are
not observable because they are travelling faster than
the speed of light (the amplitude of the perceived
wave).

The experiment with two holes:

This experiment has been considered as proof of the
wave-particle duality. When photons travel through
the experiment, depending on setup, the result on the
screen can give an interference pattern (indicating light is a wave) or not (indicating light is a particle),
depending on whether or not detectors were set up on
the second set of holes. Taking each in turn.

No detectors (interference pattern)

The photon disperses itself into quarks all following
a general forward trajectory. Many quarks are
travelling faster than light, in every possible route
towards the screen. Passing through the first hole, a
pattern emerges from the averaged paths of the quarks,
resembling a wave. At this point, the photon does not
exist, as such. Instead there are many quarks in
every possible space, and there is potential for the
photon to re-exist anywhere as well. However, as the
photon is travelling from the source to the screen,
the `sum-over-histories’ of the quarks is such that
they are on their way to the screen. Passing through
the second set of holes, quarks have a 50 hance of
going through each hole. When those 50 ass through
each hole, those 50 egin the process of
`sum-over-histories’ all over again based on their
current position. At this point the two sets of quark
`sums-over-histories’ interfere with each other. The
interference pattern on the screen is created based on
the averaged interference of the quarks. When the
quarks approach the screen, somehow they `decide’ to
turn back into a photon thereby registering itself on
the screen. My guess is that the first quark to hit
the screen (and thus become observable) causes the
probability wave to collapse and all quark
simultaneously combine into the single photon.

Detectors in second set. (No interference)

Quarks behave as above until one reaches either one of
the second gates (50 hance of either). When it
reaches the detector, the probability wave collapses
and the photon re-exists at that point, registering on
the detector. The photon then changes back into
quarks and continues from there. Interference does
not occur because the quarks are coming from a single
source — the previous known location of the photon.

One detector. (No interference)

Option 1:
There is a 50 hance that quarks will hit the screen
or the detectored hole first. Whichever situation
arises, the probability wave collapses and the photon
either hits the screen on the undetected side of the
experiment OR the probability wave collapses at the
detectored hole and the only option for the photon is
to hit the screen on that side of the experiment.

Option 2:
When quarks hit the detected hole, there is a 50[r>chance of registering as a photon based on the
location of the other quarks. If they are
concentrated near that hole they merge as a photon, if
not, that quark immediately `decides’ it is not a
photon and travels to the other side of the experiment
where there is a greater concentration of quarks.

The perceived photon:
Photons are how quarks are percieved at a certain
place and time and not an individual particle. In a
sense, photons are a quanta of quarks.

c:
Einsteins speed of light is the average forward motion
of a quanta of quarks along a general vector. It is
perhaps due to resistance in the medium of the
universe (a neo-ether) or a constant describing the
threshold between the real (or physical) and another
phase of existance (where quanta exist)

The speed of light:
Would be more accurately described as the speed of
individual photon-quarks.

Problems:
If `sum-over-histories’ is true, do all possibilities
exist at the same time. i.e. The shortest distance
travelled (ie the averaged trajectory) would be the
first to be perceived, and all others would occur
later (albeit not much) So would some photons (or
quarks) travel faster than others? (Possible solution
to option 1 of one detector example)

Experiments: Detectors in places other than the holes.
What happens if photon is detected elsewhere (on the
side of the wall — where would it end up on the
screen?)

Marginalia is one of those terms I really like but never get to use. Basically it’s the little stuff that need to be pointed out but don’t really deserve an entire chapter or paragraph. It might be something you thought about while reading a book.. so you’d write it in the margins.

In this case… none of these topics really deserve their own blog entry.

1. Michael Jackson was found not guilty on all counts.
I just didn’t really care… I saw on the news that the verdict was forthcoming so I put on CNN and watched it unfold. Not Guilty… I said to myself, “well, I hope so,” and then I went about my day.

2. It was nice and cool this evening.
Probably the only day I actually could have slept well and I chose to stay up and enjoy the relative cool.

3. Fan maintenance is essential.
My fan had gotten pretty dusty. The blades had this coating of dust on them and I didn’t feel like the fan was giving as much air flow as it used to. So with a Q-tip and a pencil I managed to scrape off most of the dust. My goodness.. what a difference!!!! Go clean your fan right now.. you’ll thank me for it.

4. Emotion Ticket update.
I should probably clarify “many moons ago” (7-9 years ago) and state that I don’t necessarily agree with that theory anymore. I don’t even think I ever completely agreed with it. It was just a neat theory. I just think it’s weird that the first bite of cake is always the best and that first love feelings never come back. (Though now I’d like to think that feeling is replaced by something better and more mature.)

5. There was something else…
…but I forget.

I’ve always thought the universe had a sense of humour.  Hell, when things like this come up I’m almost inclined to believe there’s someone up there pulling the strings.

Here’s the sitch.

A couple months ago I started talking to this girl.  Lets call her Ann.  There was an obvious mutual attraction and a really strange connection that neither of us knew what to make of.   There was, however, a problem.  There was a boy in the picture.  Not just any boy, but a boy with whom she’s had an on and off relationship with for years.  When we started talking, they were having some problems.  Lets call him Dave.

Anyway… she was curious.. and I was curious.

But she had dedication and self respect.  I also have self respect and a respect for her and her feelings.  And so, nothing at all happened.  We had a big talk about why nothing happened and our friendship hasn’t been the same since.  We’ve talked pretty much every day since then… we both knew we were good and respectful individuals… I think we both knew that if circumstances changed, we’d be willing to explore the possibilities.

Anyway.. a couple weeks ago their relationship hit a bit of a turning point.  It looked pretty bad.  Ann and I would talk about it a little bit and that seemed to help.  I’m not exactly sure how it happened but soon I became a topic of conversation within their group of friends.  Obviously.. Dave didn’t like me at all.

This past Friday the situation came to a head.  I really had the impression that this was going to be it… I think she did too… either they were going to get back together for good.. or they’d break up for good.  Panicking, Ann didn’t want to have the big conversation with him in the state she was in so she locked herself in her room and chatted with me online.  That she was chatting with me probably didn’t help matters much.  I could feel the hate vibes flowing all the way to my apartment.

So we chatted… topics alternated between the weather and her current situation.  I gave her my opinion.. I gave her some options.. I asked a lot of questions.  Finally, she decided she’d avoided him long enough so she said goodnight to me and went to face the music.

Last night I got the low down of what happened.

No one would have guessed the first words Dave would ever say to me.  He said, “thank you.”   I guess something I said to Ann really resonated with her and she shared it with Dave.  Dave, I guess, realized I wasn’t trying to be a crowbar but I was trying to be a real friend to her.  Anyway… they had a really long chat that was continued the next day.  They talked about a lot of their big issues and from the way it sounds, full resolution is on its way.  And last night she sounded so happy I couldn’t help but smile.  I was genuinely happy for them.   I told them they had better invite me to the wedding and Dave said only if I promised to bring a date!

I should probably stop there and say by no means am I suggesting that I saved their relationship.  They did that.  What I am suggesting is that I didn’t complicate things.  I respected her and her relationship enough to know that there was a distinct line.  Any crossing of that line would only have caused her grief.  Crossing the line would have been an incredibly selfish thing for me to do.. as only I would have received the benefits without consequence.  That is not to say I had an opportunity to cross the line because I didn’t.. Ann had enough self respect and maturity to know better.

So why do I feel bettersweet pride?

Because I did the right thing.  Because I’m not HIM  …. I’m not selfish, I’m not manipulative, my idea of comforting an upset woman is not to take her back to my hotel.  I have respect… respect for people and boundaries.

It should also be said that Ann is not HER … if SHE had any self respect or even the slightest sliver of dedication… if SHE wasn’t blinded by some twisted sense of pride, she could see HIM for what he really is.  If SHE had any sense of maturity she would see that, in all the ways that matter, I’m the better man.

Because I am the better man… and I’ve proved it.

….

In other news.. it’s FRICKING HOT!

A short story from many moons ago.

Thinking about experiences and what makes me, well.. me reminded me of this story.

Cheers.

———–

The three of us sat around the kitchen table while the
rest of our group drank and watched The Craft. We
were the non drinkers.. each of us for different
reasons entirely.

Mark is a recovering alcoholic. He spent two months
in detox and it scared the shit out of him. He says
the detox program itself wasn’t what turned him
around. “The scariest part were the people.. I was the
youngest one there. There was this one guy — he must
have been in his 40s — everyone knew his name except
me… I made it a point not to learn his name. I mean
EVERYONE knew his name. I eventually learned that he
had been in and out of the centre for over 10 years.
I didn’t want to become familiar with that sort of
person and I really didn’t want to become that sort of
person.”

Loreen has spent her entire teenage life dealing with
alcoholism… friends, her brother, and father. She
has been a pillar of strength for Mark. I can see
something in the way they look at each other. I hope
they can see it too.

I, on the other hand, do occasionally drink. I am
very stingy when it comes to my emotions and
experiences. My theory is that once our life begins
we are given a number of Emotion Tickets — just like
ride tickets at the fair — and when we run out of
tickets…. Well… That’s it. No more emotions and
no longer are we able to appreciate our experiences.
So, I’m sitting this one out.

Loreen speaks.

“Ever wonder why our society always has to name or
label everything?”

“Classification is necessary,” I say, “How else are we
supposed to follow conversations? Our conversations
have to be efficient, we don’t have the time to make
assumptions.”

“Sure, but what about classification for the sake of
classification. Take, for example, Generation X. The
X has a special meaning for that generation –
uncertainty, etc. Who are we though? I’ve heard of
our generation referred to as Generation Y. Why?
Because it follows X in the alphabet? The letter Y
has no special meaning for us, so what gives?”

“Exactly.. it’s just journalists attempting to label
something they don’t understand. The public eats it
right up. Naming something abstract like that puts
restrictions and parameters on a concept that
shouldn’t be there. If they must give our generation
a name, it should at least be meaningful.”

“Did you have anything in mind?”

“No, not exactly.”

Marks eyes light up and he grabs a pen and some paper.
He writes:

PC Generation
1. Personal Computer
2. Post Communist

“Ooh! Good Mark!”

“Politically correct,” I add.

“Pro-Choice”

“Presidents Choice!”

“Pre-cooked?”

All are added. We make no judgements. After a few
more minutes of brain storming we round our list off:

7. Pay-Channels
8. Passively Complacent
9. Prozac Children

The drunken Allen had come into the kitchen to see
what all the excitement was about. Generally fitting
the dumb (and did I mention drunk) jock stereotype, he
wasn’t too enthusiastic about Loreen’s response.

“We’re trying to find a meaningful name for our
generation.”

Allen shook his head and and while he walked back to
the living room he said to us, “Man, you guys are
pretty crazy.”

Without a word between us, our list was finalized.

10. Pretty Crazy.

June bugs.

I saw my first one of the year today.

Woah cranky.

Let me tell you a story about something that happened to me a few years ago.

It was the year of June bugs.  For whatever reason it seemed like there were millions of them and they all seemed to conspire against me.

One day, I’m walking home from the bus stop down a very busy street.  Suddenly out of nowhere five of those bastards attack.  I had two stuck in my hair… another stuck between my glasses and my eye.. an altogether unpleasant experience.  I kept trying to wave them away to no avail.  I start to run.

So here I am in my mid-twenties running down a busy street with my arms  flailing.  I must have looked mad.  But those jerkbots were after me.  Eventually I got home and everything was fine.

That night (or maybe a few nights later) I decided to step outside to cool down a bit before going to bed.  So I’m hanging out in my back yard when one of those ass clowns starts flying around me.

The danger with June bugs compared to other flying insects is that June bugs have absolutely no clue what they’re doing.  Bees defend themselves.. flies are fearful scavengers and mosquitos want to suck your blood.  I’m fine with all of them because they’re just doing what they do.   What makes June bugs so damned annoying is that they’re unpredictable… “Hey those things on your head look like windows.. I think I’ll try to get inside!”… or maybe they’re just really depressed considering they are THE most vile insect known to man… “I’m so sad.. I’ll just fly wherever the wind takes me.. I’m so sad.. I’m ugly on the outside and squishy on the inside… life.. don’t talk to me about life..”

So naturally I preformed some “evasive manouvers” to get away from the grubby blimp and whenever it landed I would stomp away trying to kill the blasted thing.

After cooling down a bit I went back upstairs to get ready for bed.  I went in the bathroom .. brushed my teeth.. you know… the usual.  Now I think I was wearing shorts of some sort such that I had to drop them in order to do my business.  So I started.

So there I am… waiting to finish… and I look down.

There… at the very bottom of my t-shirt… right in the centre… hanging by one of its disgusting little legs… a mere half inch away from my you-know-what… was.. the fucking June bug.

I’d never screamed so loud.

I’d never made a bigger mess.

That fucking June bug.

When my roommate Peter and I decided to take this apartment.. our biggest decision was who got what bedroom.

Bedroom one:
Definitely a fair size itself
Carpeted
Cooler wallpaper
Window faces the front

Bedroom two:
Larger
Hardwood floors (in rather poor condition)
Window facing the backyard
Door to the bedroom was right by our front door.

Anyway.. as it turned out, I got the second bedroom.

The second bedroom also had a door to the attic which we weren’t supposed to open. We were also warned that the landlord would inspect the attic every three months or so.  We thought it was slightly creepy to have an attic door in a bedroom and for the first couple weeks I’d sort of stare at the attic door just… wondering.

In the next couple months we got to know our neighbours a little better and they told us about some strange things that have gone on at the house… the landlord’s daughter at one point went running to a church at 3:30 in the morning to ask the priest to bless the house.  Yeah.  We started hearing noises too.. As though things were running through the walls or in the attic.  Now I was sure these things were caused by the house settling or perhaps small animals that got stuck in the walls… some sort of natural explanation for things.

So today the landlord comes by and asks for access to the attic so he can open the window.  It was laundry day so I had dirty clothes piled up in front of the attic door.  I asked him if he could come back and do it tomorrow.  Instead he asked if I could do it and he gave me the key for the door.  I said that was fine.  As he was turning away to leave I asked him, “Uh, Joe.. there aren’t any skeletons up there or anything are there?”  He laughed maniacally and said no.

When I got home from doing laundry I decided to take the plunge up (ooh mixed metaphors… or is that simply a malapropism?) …

And there was nothing… it was small, slightly dusty, and very hot.  That was it.  Almost completely bare and clean.  I saw a few dead bees by the window I was to open but other than that it was a perfectly normal attic.  A little too normal perhaps.  I opened the window and stood there feeling dejected.  I’d hoped to have something to explore for five minutes or so but no… The only thing slightly out of the ordinary was a white plastic bucket with the word “fish” written across the side.  A fish bucket.  There weren’t even creepy fish bones in the bucket.. just some water stains at the bottom.  How boring.

However… like in all the best horror stories… perhaps the thing that will haunt me most about my excursion is what I *didn’t* find…. anything at all.

Alright.. So Karla Homolka is getting out of jail soon and this is making a few people antsy. Some want her monitored and some say she’s done her time so leave her alone.  I can sort of see both sides…. As you can see in the following article.. the court has ordered that Homolka check in with police every week.

Court Orders Monitoring of Homolka

What I thought was really interesting about the article was this….

Other experts argued on Thursday that Homolka remained a risk, and Morissette agreed that she remained psychologically vulnerable in relationships with men.

She has been communicating with Jean-Paul Gerbet, a 38-year-old French national serving a life sentence in Quebec for strangling his girlfriend to death.

But Morissette said that even though Homolka and Gerbet had exchanged letters and one kiss, he is “not available” as a partner for her because he may be deported after he serves his sentence.

…. H’ok… Dubya Tee Eff?

So some dude kills his girlfriend.  Some chick kills two teenaged chicks with her boyfriend.  How the hell did these two end up meeting?  Never mind that they’ve KISSED.  Did they go to prison prom together?  www.PrisonMatch.com?  Did prison shrinks think this was a good idea because they have had similar experiences so they could relate to each other?  What happens when Bernardo gets out?  I can totally see a Dr Phil pay-per-view special coming up.

Absurd!

So it finally happened.

The much anticipated poker night… we’d talked about it a lot and I got Freeze/Bone/Wolf/Pete/Rev (whatever you want to call him) a poker set for Christmas… but for various reasons we never got a big enough group together to really play.

Tonight it happened.

The BBQ portion was pretty scary.  First of all… our BBQ is scary.  It’s small, old and not very good.  We had hamburgers and chicken burgers and I’d never cooked chicken burgers on the BBQ before.  Let me tell you something about frozen chicken burgers.  They are gross.  They had thawed slightly and they had the consistency of….. wet paper towels.. or wet paper mache… gross anyway.

Oh lighting the BBQ was another matter.  The ignition doesn’t work and there isn’t a hole on the side so we have to get a rolled up piece of paper.. set it on fire and dip it into the BBQ.  Now I’ve done this quite a few times before and it’s been fine… but this time .. the fireball was HUGE.  I’m talking three feet in the air huge… all with my hand still hovering over the grill.  Freeze jumped and he was 5 feet away.  I pulled my hand back and it was stinging… all the little hairs on my left hand had turned into little piles of ash.  Blimy.

Anyway… so I’m cooking up the food… the chicken burgers were taking forever and it didn’t even look like anything was happening to them.  Jill stuck her head out the door to ask if I needed any help… I said “yeah.. how do you know if chicken burgers are cooked?”.. she said.. “when they’re no longer pink on the inside”…. I blinked…. looked down at these pasty white chicken burgers that didn’t have the slightest tinge of pink to them… and these were the raw ones.  Right.

When the hamburgers were finished.. I thought I’d stick a couple more chicken burgers on.. as I was fumbling with the ball of mush that was supposed to be three chicken burgers.. the whole thing slipped out of my hands and fell to the ground… it’s hard to explain where they actually fell because you’d have to understand my yard… but it’s enough to know that they were covered in filth.  So much for that.

Luckily we didn’t need all those extra chicken burgers and apart for some charred bits the rest of the burgs turned out ok. No one seemed to complain so hey.

On to the poker game.  Texas Hold Em.  On the very first hand I had a straight but damn Matt had the same hand so we split the pot.  That was how the night went for me.  I split two pots with Matt and only won one hand on my own.  Jeff and Jill fought back valiantly after being down to one and two chips respectively.  With one chip left I went all-in with a pair of sevens.. the community cards filled a straight around my sevens… but Damn Matt had a seven of his own so we split the pot.. my share being a whopping two chips.  The next hand I folded without making a bet and Jeff got knocked out.  The next hand I was dealt Ace-King suited.. probably the best hand you can get.. I immediately went all-in (with my big three chips).. nearly everyone stayed in!  That made me a little nervous.  The flop sucked.. the turn card blew.. and the river was simply garbage.  I had a big fat Ace high.  I think someone had a pair or something stupid like that.. and so I was gone.  Angie was the next leaf to fall followed by Freeze and then Rob.  It was chip-leader Damn Matt against his girlfriend Jill (who had come back from having only two chips at one point.. good for her)… in the end Jill’s short stack couldn’t stand up to Damn Matt’s twin towers and he took the pot.  Damn Matt.

It was really fun even though Damn Matt won.  We’ll probably do it again soon.

Incidentally.. Rob didn’t beat me up on sight which either means he doesn’t care or that he hasn’t figured out this MySpace thing yet.  I suspect the latter since he hasn’t accepted my friend request yet.

Since joining MySpace I’ve found it particularly interesting to see how different people present themselves.. in their profile and on their blogs.

Just what is it that makes you.. well.. you?  Just what is it that makes me..me?

People are complicated animals in that we have many layers.  Which layer do we present to the public?

Some examples…

One person in my favourites talks about being an anarcho-feminist in her profile.  Could she really  know, based on my profile, that we seem to have a fair bit in common?  Probably not and yet I think we do.  I just chose to leave my political philosophy off my profile.  Now I’m not an anarcho-feminist.. but I am a grassroots pinko.  I believe in equality when it comes to race, gender, sexual orientation, creed, etc..  I believe the purpose of government is to empower its citizens and in most cases that means leaving them alone.  I can’t stand that “the system” (in government, education, and the workforce) tries to force people into molds.. into being automatons that serve “the system” well.  I also think “the system” is fundamentally flawed and doomed for collapse.  I don’t think our system of government works very well (nor yours down south) even though I believe in the principle of democracy.  I’m not exactly sure how our system should be fixed.. but I do have a vision… and none of the main political parties come close to it.  I absolutely despise big business.  I think the neocons in the US have created a proto-fascist state and I’m terried where that will go.  I also have a feeling there will be a major war in the next 5-20 years and I’m afraid that we’ll be on opposite sides of the front.  Not that there will be a front because this war will be unlike anything we’ve ever seen before.  Je suis un revolutionaire … but you wouldn’t know it from my profile.

There’s this guy that I tried to talk to because he was looking for “like minded souls”..  Almost his entire profile was about his spiritual beliefs which are not entirely unlike mine.  But he wouldn’t necessarily know that by looking at my profile.  I have a pretty strong spiritual side but I don’t believe in god in any traditional sense.  I don’t believe in heaven or hell.. or reincarnation.. or even a soul.  I believe that everything is sacred… and that’s not a statement of belief.. it’s a statement of values.  Everything IS sacred.  I am a human and humans are animals in exactly the same way as rover is a dog.. and dogs are animals.  The food that we eat gives us life.  It is life.  As a cow or a field of wheat is food, so am I.  Perhaps the most comforting revelation I’ve ever had is that when I die my body will decompose and some plant or animal will have a feast.  Finally, I will have made the ultimate sacrifice by finally returning the favour of allowing others to benefit from my death.. the same way I have benefited from so many deaths.  To me, there is nothing morbid or dark about that.  It is life and it is sacred.  When my time comes it will be an honour.

Finally.. there’s this other girl who is a kinky Protestant Republican.  Kinky?  Yeah.. how do I know this?  She told me very soon after we started talking.  Why do I know this?  I’m not sure.. evidently it is a big enough part of who she is that she likes to get freaky.  Apart from being total opposites when it comes to religion and ideology.. we ended up having a fair bit in common.  And I’m not suggesting I’m into kinky sex… I’m referring to other things… being genuinely interested in getting to know people… being able to talk about things like religion or sex without getting preachy or immature… etc.

I’m not exactly sure what my point is… I think it’s just that most people have a lot more in common than we can realize by looking at a profile… or even when meeting someone in real life…. or even after knowing someone for years.  We all have our layers and we all choose which layers we make public.  Not one single layer can define who we are.. instead we are a combination of all our layers.. even our most secret ones.

And for me.. it has been interesting to see which layers people have chosen to put forward first.

f i r s t s

First best friend: Nicky from next door.  I once threw a worm in his mouth.  I think he’s in jail now.
First kiss on the lips: Probably something from when I was a kid.. otherwise, see the next one.
First real kiss: On a bridge over a waterfall under a total lunar eclipse.  Can’t get anymore romantic than that.  Too bad she was a slut.
First funeral: I think it was my sister’s boyfriend’s father or something like that.  I held her hand.
First pets: A fun cat named Mocha after I rescued her from my grandmother.  I taught her how to climb.  She’s in jail now.
First true love:  Ahh Lisa..
First big trip:  Fredericton for the national scholastic chess championships.  I came in second.

l a s t s

Last car ride:  Bubba driving me home.
Last good cry:  Couple months ago.
Last movie seen:  Can’t Hardly Wait.. Bubba and I compared all the characters to people from back in high school.  That was funny.
Last beverage drank:  Coke
Last food consumed:  Stew
Last crush:  Jessica Alba, Sarah Cauchon.. as for IRL.. There’s none right now that I can think of.. I mean there’s one..maybe… but it’s not a crush.. or is it?    So strange.
Last phone call:  From Jay.
Last time showered: 1963.
Last song listened to: St Etienne, The Place At Dawn
Last item bought:  Coke

f a s h i o n | s t u f f

Where is your favorite place to shop?:  Urban Outfitters
Any tattoos or piercings?:  Barcode tattoo on the back of my neck.  (Since I mentioned Jessica Alba earlier, I should probably say that I got this long before Dark Angel went on the air and it has nothing to do with her.. or Microserfs for that matter.)

s p e c i f i c s

Do you do drugs?: No. I like my brain the way it is thank you very much.
What kind of shampoo do you use?:  I’ve got the urge to Herbal.
What are you most scared of?:  Guilt… taking more than I give.
What are you listening to right now?  “Fun For Me” by Moloko.. my general MP3 playlist.
Where do you want to get married?:  Assuming I do want to get married.. I’m more interested in making a life-long commitment than getting a piece of paper with my name on it.
How many buddies are online right now?: Uh.. I don’t think any are online.
What would you change about yourself?:  *Sometimes* I wish I’d taken the blue pill.

f a v o r i t e s

Color:  Midnight blue.
Food:  Goodness me!  Well pizza has to be on there.. sushi, lebanese meat pies… bul goh gee… any breakfast food… I really love food in general.
Subjects in school:  HS: Drama.. Uni: Symbolic Logic.. Col: Business English
Animals: Meow.
Perfume:  None.
Cologne:  Vodka toner/aftershave.. not really a cologne but the closest I get.
Alcohol: Manhattans… Smithwicks.
Word:  prototypical

h a v e | y o u | e v e r

Taken a bath with someone?  Guilty.
Made yourself throw up?:  Not on purpose.
Skinny dipped?:  No.
Been in love?:  Twice.  It’s an important word for me.
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: Maybe when I was little, sure.
Pictured a crush naked?:  Not a “crush”..
Cried when someone died?:  My cat.
Lied?: Not in years…
Fallen for your best friend? Yes.
Been rejected?:  Hahahahahahaha… oh hell yeah.
Rejected someone?: Yes…
Used someone?:  Not in that way… but haven’t we all in some way?
Done something you regret?:  Not really no… I’m more likely to regret not doing things.

c u r r e n t

Clothes:  jeans… my “House of Weenies: You love `em, we got `em” shirt
Music: Is it just me or is this the third “what’s playing” question in this quiz?  Anyway.. now it’s a punk cover of “Tomorrow”.. can’t remember the band.. probably Me First and the Gimme Gimmes.
Make-up:  No that scruff is real.
Smell:  What?  Like what am I smelling now?  What do I smell like now?  Huh?
Desktop picture: A guillotine.

l a s t | p e r s o n

Hugged: my six-year-old nephew.

a r e | y o u

Open minded:  Very.
Interesting:  Your mom sure thinks so.
Moody:  No… I’m like this all the time.
Hardworking:  Depends if it’s something I’m passionate about.
Attractive: At times.
Responsible:  95f the time.
Angry:  At the moment, yeah.  People can be so strange.  I’m not angry in general although a lot of things can set me off… neocons.. abusive people.. stupid people… “the man”
Sad: At the moment, yeah.  Not in general though.
Disappointed: At the moment, incredibly.
Talkative: If I have something to say.

w h i c h | i s | b e t t er

Coke or pepsi:  If I’m in a restaurant and I ask for a coke and they say “we have pepsi, is that ok?”…. I say iced tea.
Thick or thin:  Proportional.
Tall or short:  Proportional.

r a n d o m

In the morning i am:  groggy as hell.
All i need is: love and respect.
What do you notice on a person first: eyes, smile, and how they carry themselves.
Who makes you laugh the most:  Probably Freezingwarm.

n u m b e r

Of times i have had my heart broken:  Let me count the scars…
Of hearts i have broken:  Two as far as I know.
Of guys i’ve kissed:  I really want this question defined before I answer.  Possible answers include 5 or so, 1, or none.
Of girls i’ve kissed:  14 – 16 or something like that.
Of continents i’ve lived on: Only one.
Of tight friends: Only a few.. it’s quality over quantity.

r e p e t i t i v e l y

What are you listening to right now:  Neko Case, Deep Red Bells