Grocery stores can sometimes be as good for people watching as bus stations. People are generally just doing their own thing and you can tell a lot about a person by what is in their basket or cart. The way they behave is another good indication like the guy who talked to me in the checkout line yesterday at No Frills.
It wasn’t that busy but at that particular time there were a fair number of people in line and only 4 or 5 cashes open. A few of the people ahead of me had full carts and a few people were just carrying a few items. The express (1-8) lane was on the other side of the store. I had about 20 items or so in a basket. The guy behind me smelled like alcohol and had a full cart. His cart even included a small lap dog complete with giant spiked collar and a neckerchief (spellcheck says that’s a word, yay. Spellcheck also says that spellcheck and yay are not.) with a marijuana leaf. You get the idea.
He starts grumbling and sighing and wondering aloud why people aren’t going to the express aisle. At one point he directed one of his comments at me and my 20 items. A few more comments and I’d had enough. I turned back to him and said, “you know, if you think I have so few items that it would take me no time at all to go through the express aisle, then you shouldn’t have any problem waiting behind me in this aisle.” He didn’t get it.
“But you’ll get out faster.”
“That’s not the point.”
“But we’ll all get out faster.”
“Not the people behind me in the express line. That’s the point. It’d be rude to those people.”
“I wouldn’t consider it rude.”
“Well you’re not in the express aisle. But you’re apparently taking offense at this….”
“I’ve gone in the express aisle with more than 8 items a bunch of times, and they’ve only said anything once or twice.”
“Well thats you, and like they would actually say anything. So why don’t you go then?”
“Well…” as he points to his cart.
“Exactly.”
I tried to end the conversation with that which worked for a while. Then ahead of us in line there was some commotion as a rather cute young woman with an elegant outfit and pigtails (Call me! Yes, you! You bought a 2L carton of milk. I believe it was 1% milk.) who was carrying her groceries in cloth shopping bags moved out of the way to let someone with a cart by so the walkway wouldn’t be clogged (or something like that.)
Somehow, this guy took offence and said, “yeah, you see what I’m talking about now?”
“Not at all.”
“You know, you got to learn things aren’t always black and white.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at being given a lesson on moral relativism in No Frills.
He continued, “you know, when I stopped seeing things in black and white is when I started to enjoy life.”
“Well, I started enjoying my life when I stopped being selfish.”
He thought about that for a while before saying, “I’m not telling anyone to do anything, I’m just having a conversation in line.”
“Okay, that’s fine.”
“Maybe I’m just anxious because my dog is with me. ”
I’d forgotten about the dog in his cart. Because, you know, the “No Dogs” sign is just a suggestion like the “1-8 items” sign. It doesn’t apply to you if you don’t want it to or you feel it inconveniences you in any way. Allergies be damned you’re entitled to bring your dog to rub up against food you haven’t paid for.
Sigh.
A couple weeks ago someone asked me how to spell “3M” … Really? It’s only one of the world’s biggest companies. The fact that its only two characters long and is spelled exactly how it sounds makes this a pretty big head scratcher. Good thing I didn’t used to work for Eyebeeyim or Ayteeandtee.